03282013

beyond the physicality of voice

something speaks to me and says

i'm still here. still here. do you remember

me?

and i think to say

no, of course i don't

but the lie is strangled

inside my throat

beyond the embodied presence of words

is the ephemeral resonance of truth

gossamer sometimes

ephemeral (perhaps

or so we tell ourselves)

but real

and you are real

and i am real

and we are together

just like we have been

always

and yes, i do remember

you

and never let me tell you

otherwise

and on

and on

and on

we stay

03212013

as springtime arrives

night draws me

closer into her atmosphere

further from the air of day

which breathes on me and

leaves me stifled with

too much conformity

too much intensity

too much expectation

and as we are together

night and i

i pray day to observe

how we sit with one another

how we talk without speaking

how the space between us unfolds

receiving without question

delivering without condition

without asking how or why

03142013

another unsent letter…

Dear W.,

Sitting with you and others around a table, listening to you talk about the void inside your core, I felt the urge, for one moment, to reach out across that smooth field of solid wood, and touch your hand. The pain was so red in your proudly blue eyes. The hurt was so vivid, so electric, so bright. But that was my urge to deliver something… perhaps because it was something I too wanted delivered to me. After hours of being present with words… through silence… words… silence… I craved the tangibility of… oh, touch!

Do you want to know the truth, though? I am ever awkward in the presence of another’s giving. I am a fumbling mess when someone extends their gift-laden hands to me in offering. But then… when you looked me so fully in the face, so fully in the eyes, gripped my cold fingers between yours, stuttered as your tongue angled shyly over the rims of your lips, and said “Thank you, Nevine,” so shudderingly… how could I not receive?

What joy! What blood! What tremors of absolution! What communion, my friend!

Tonight, though my body is depleted, my spirit is full.

Fondly,

N.

03092013

after our love…

there are nine gates to my body

the tenth is a secret door

i shape-shift into a shadow

a spectre on the floor

my love my love my love

this door this door this door

this air this wind this song

this floor this floor this floor

your mouth your throat your skin

my moans my flesh my bones

dance me, my love

dance me

dance

.

.

.

sing me, my love

sing

unlock me, my love

open…

there are nine gates to my body

the tenth is a secret door