05252014

up all night.

fierce, these invading memories.

i need to be outside.

you? nowhere but here.

05212014

she said,

last night, i dreamed i was falling.

i said,

again?

she said,

again.

i said,

what was that like for you?

she said,

the fall, or the dream?

i said,

are they not one and the same?

she said,

i suppose they are, yes.

i said,

are they, now?

silence.

so, what was it like for you?

she said,

i saw things. touched things. felt things.

i said,

and what was that like for you?

she said,

why do you keep asking me the same question?

i said,

why do you keep evading an answer?

she said,

i’m not sure i understand the question.

i said,

i’m not sure there’s anything to understand.

it’s a straightforward enough question.

she said,

okay, then.

i felt exquisite. i felt like,

if falling is like this,

let falling last forever.

you’re still being evasive,

i said.

answer the question.

she said,

i felt like i was losing control.

i said,

control over what?

she said,

control over everything.

control over myself.

i said,

and the falling was the loss of control?

she said nothing.

i said,

what did you feel

as you were falling?

she said,

i felt freedom.

i said,

were you not afraid?

she said,

i wasn’t.

i said,

not of anything at all?

not of anything,

she said.

not of anyone.

she paused.

not of you.

i said,

what brings me into

this equation?

she said,

will you never understand?

you are the equation.

05112014

into the forest

alone

where the trees witness

my solitude

but remain firmly rooted

to earth

asking no questions

at all