11232018

we lie down on the ground

whispering about what rises within us

and what the earth carries

while the sky lingers and waits

re-enchanting itself

weaving a madrigal of awakening

washing away the indecision

painting us with intention

11092018

share with me your thoughts. tell me. do you think i'm too serious? yes. i am. i already know this. but saying it is owning it: i am too serious. 

i hear my voice inside my head. i speak the words out loud: i am too serious.

my inner child bristles: i am too serious?

i say the words. i own the words: i am too serious.

i am not words. 

i am not narrative. i am not story.

i am not a hesitant reenactment of faulty memories.

i am not a unidimensional state.

i am playful. i am child. i am infant.

this, too, i own.

*

this truth brings tears.

won't you extend me a tissue? a hand? a shoulder?

won't you measure my need on a scale? won't you sum it up into a simple number? won't you qualify it? quantify it? multiple choice? yes or no? true or false? likert scale? won't you break it down so you can see all the parts?

won't you penetrate its deepest spirit?

this tunnel.
this passage.
this corridor.

is endless.

but.

i have.

a mallet
for every curve of concrete.

a key 
for every door.

11042018

i am moving / moving / constantly / unpredictably / where am i going next?

life presents itself to me / in all of its wonder 

and / i explore my world

like an infant / in awe

like an ancient / in reverence

10272018

intuition.

incubation.

discernment.

movement.

10192018

yes. 
i know. 
this is truth.

it exists in silent presence.
in a quiet corner.
inconspicuous.

i ask.
it shines.

world.

universe.

infinity.

06242018

it is dawn—

a cool, sweet morning.

a gentle breeze laps at my cheeks.

i close my eyes and draw my breath

and sigh... exhaling slowly.

i lift my pen and write,

listening to the grass

and the dew

and the beauty held within

the tranquil horizon.

i am awake

and alive and

unwilling to escape

from the flow of life.

06162018

somewhere inside me
there is an oasis
for every dream

every scream
and every laugh
that emerges from

my deepest wells
visceral and untamed

here is where
i am most centered

most authentic and
vivified

the sky is filled 
with quiet light and 
bellowing blaze and

somewhere in between

there is a refuge
within which

the wholeness of me
is restored

06102018

once again,
life is in motion.

and i am bedazzled.
rushed.
worn.

this morning,

i pause 
beside my kitchen window
to witness and be witnessed.

life breaks through
every fragile boundary.

all the walls
are torn down.

i don't give an inch
to distraction.

i remain still.

i listen.

05222018

now.

again.

i inhabit

this body.

i feed on silence.

i entrust myself

to my own tranquility.

03122018

she said,

i want to spread the word

about what happened.

i want the truth

to be known.

i said,

we can use words to create

magic or to create calamity.

speak judiciously.

be mindful what you say.

02252018

the confluence of sky and sea...

... the inimitable expression of reverence.

02042018

a minute can go by quickly,

or so very slowly. 

this minute… like driftwood 

in this vast, gushing river.

other pieces of driftwood 

swim together close by.

i float briefly, feeling the water

ripple over my skin. i immerse

myself in the sacredness of

this stream of nature.

i gather strength and wade

back to shore, a net of

driftwood dragging 

behind me.

i feel empowered, refreshed, 

energized.

i feel changed by my experience of

forcing my way down to the bed of

the river and allowing myself to be 

carried up by the rush of water. 

i feel here. in this moment. now.

no judgment. no attachment. 

just observation. and release.

01272018

i say ‘we,’ so much easier than saying ‘i.’ 

i say a word, but what i mean is

something behind it. 

i say, ‘we hide behind our other faces,’ 

but what i mean is

‘i hide behind this farcical lie.’ 

there is such loneliness in ‘i.’

such hollowness… such solitariness in knowing

there is no one to share your i-ness with you. 

to exist inside a certain state 

inside a certain ‘i am’ 

and to know ‘this oneness is mine.’

there is such angst inside 

that dark reality… this terrible truth

i am delivering from the shadows.

01212018

sometimes, one must rest—i must rest—from 

the ubiquity of life. but. i go one step

further. i lie down to sleep.

that is my intention. 

to sleep.

a failed intention,

as it turns out.

instead, 

i feign sleep. 

someone once told me that 

pretending is a surefire 

step in the direction 

of truth. 

i say, if pretense be my truth

in this moment, so be it! 

in simulating sleep, i find it.

01162018

today.
found time.
unanticipated.

it greets me.
i grin.

i observe it
as though it were
an optical illusion.

it is,
isn't it?

the afternoon is pulsing,
resonant and serene, 
filled with possibility.

i dare to be with
the extraordinary.

i dare because,
not to dare...

i am seized by a radiance
that demands no
return.

01022018

bark. stark.

angles. dreams.

vitality. audacity.

anticipation. desecration. 

the skin whimpers.

the spirit churns.

a vacant chair 

sits by a window.

a desiccated orange rind 

rests beneath a table.

don’t let’s talk about hunger, please.