she said,
last night, i dreamed i was falling.
i said,
again?
she said,
again.
i said,
what was that like for you?
she said,
the fall, or the dream?
i said,
are they not one and the same?
she said,
i suppose they are, yes.
i said,
are they, now?
silence.
so, what was it like for you?
she said,
i saw things. touched things. felt things.
i said,
and what was that like for you?
she said,
why do you keep asking me the same question?
i said,
why do you keep evading an answer?
she said,
i’m not sure i understand the question.
i said,
i’m not sure there’s anything to understand.
it’s a straightforward enough question.
she said,
okay, then.
i felt exquisite. i felt like,
if falling is like this,
let falling last forever.
you’re still being evasive,
i said.
answer the question.
she said,
i felt like i was losing control.
i said,
control over what?
she said,
control over everything.
control over myself.
i said,
and the falling was the loss of control?
she said nothing.
i said,
what did you feel
as you were falling?
she said,
i felt freedom.
i said,
were you not afraid?
she said,
i wasn’t.
i said,
not of anything at all?
not of anything,
she said.
not of anyone.
she paused.
not of you.
i said,
what brings me into
this equation?
she said,
will you never understand?
you are the equation.
