early morning.
stillness.
only the sound of the occasional car heard in the distance, beyond the security of my windows. in the remote wilderness, the wail of a siren. disquieting, this sound. disquieting, on a visceral level. and more disturbing as it draws near. it is a reminder of just how fragile each moment is… just how radically a world can change in an instant.
there is an order to everything. a mysterious order that keeps together the functioning of our lives. an order that is as perfect as clockwork. but if this order… this perfection… should veer off course, what challenges to the human Self! and what extraordinary measures to regain equilibrium!
the sound has gone away, but it has not taken with it its unsettling effect. rather, it has left behind a token to irk me… to unease me. this token, a faint twitch in the pit of my gut. something to keep me on my toes and prevent me from living fully my early morning moments of solitude and serenity. here i came to sit, on the bed of this… my silent sea.
here i came to be, far away from all but me. to float inside the iridescent transparency of purifying water. to sit, with the sand settled around me. and here, my sands have been disturbed, and have muddled my water and my vision, leaving my eyes smarting with revulsion.
can i make this feeling depart? do i dare to walk away from it? but, no! it will follow me. instead, i will sit with it.
i close my eyes to keep out the sand, but those grains that have found their way in are nestled deeply, unwilling to release their need to be with... inside… me.
we are bound to live in unclear waters, with sand challenging our vision. or, are we? we are not bound! we are never bound! we are only so if we tell ourselves we are so.
we make statements to ourselves and allow them to become our truths.
i let my truth be something else, something i choose to create. i let that be my self-chosen fate. i let it be my new is.
.
.
.
i am still here. and the sand is settling.
slowly.
slowly.
slowly.
.
.
.
there.
