she said,
sometimes, i feel the need
to medicate myself.

i said,
what does self-medicating
do for you?

she said,
i guess it makes me feel
like myself again.

she paused.
or maybe it makes me feel numb,
like there is no self at all.

she looked at me.
now that i’ve heard myself say it,
that truth makes me shudder.
what do you think i should do?

i said,
don’t medicate your self.
meditate her.