i counted the ways
he made me smile

one, two, three…
just like so

but i was counting

never giving
a moment’s pause

to think
but then, what if…

never giving
an eye’s flicker

to think
the counting
of infinite numbers
must, too, come to an end

i took the wind
by its tail
and twisted it
into gordian knots

wondering why
oh why, is life
so very complicated?
but, then, why not?

we are given
a moment’s reprieve
that stretches for hours
every slumbering night

and awaken
confused and asking
where it is
that we are

are we delighting
in the rest of angels?

are we simmering
in the vapor of loss?

and going back
and counting
and recounting

i ask myself
how many ways
did he make me smile?

i lose my mind
in the illusion
of numbers
supposedly infinite

but hiddenly finite

if only i dare
if only i dare
if only i dare

to keep counting
without stopping


to catch my breath
and maybe

to let my eyes see
how terribly finite

is the counting
is the wondering

is the breathing