we sat by the pool, she and i.
we talked about love. and grief.

she said,
i wanted to get a grip on myself,
on my present.
i wanted to understand why.

i said,
you were seeking the wholeness
that you had lost.

she said,
she forced my past into my present.

she paused.
do you believe in the power of the past?

i said,
i believe in the power of all of who i am.
i do not alienate.

but i lied.

sometimes i do alienate, marginalize, excommunicate, leaving gaping holes where flesh and blood should be. and those holes whistle and rage like angry spirits. they fly in the face of the most violent storms. but when the light of a new day rises, they calm… and feed… and plump with grace.