why must i add, 'because i can’t,' or, 'because i won’t,' after announcing my refusal? why must i explain myself? why must i feel any degree of obligation?
let 'no' be 'no.' let it suffice or else it will be 'no' without utterance, but still 'no' in practice… in reality.
so much easier to imagine than to do, really.
and yet, yesterday, i imagined. and today, i did.
i said 'no.'
and i will not undo this doing. it is undoable, anyway… now that it has already been done.