i have two windows in my kitchen. i like my windows. when i come home from work, i:
drop my keys on the bed
take off my shoes
take off my clothes
turn on some calming music
walk to my kitchen window that looks out into my back porch. from this window, i can see the world around me. i can see my trees. i can see my flowers. i can see my neighbor's yard.
one day. i looked into my neighbor's yard. and saw her. i started to create a life for her inside my head. we spend our days conjuring scenarios for ourselves and others, and then the master plan falls into place and declares itself. usually, it is not a master plan that we have imagined... or created, but a master plan that dances to its own rhythm. we may choose to dance along. or. we may choose to rebel. or. we may choose to do nothing. but the master plan stops for no one.
today. i looked into my neighbor's yard. again. i saw her. again. when thoughts of a master plan for her came into my head, i shooed them away.
i am tired. and i have exhausted the air around me.