Tuesday

09212010

when i love you. when i say i love you. is it because i love you? or is it because i love myself more? when i worry about you? is it because i worry about you? or is it because i worry about myself more?

i've always wanted to believe that love is unconditional. but it isn't. if you stop loving me. if. you know. i will start to feel sorry for myself. i will indulge in self-pity. and that will make me hate you. because i love me more. i will tell myself that you are not good for me. and that will make me hate you. because i love me more.

when i was a child: i used to worry about my mother. i used to worry about my father, too. but i worried about my mother more. the mother-child relationship is that symbiotic. so. i worried about something happening to my mother. i used to think: if something happened to my mama, what would happen to me?

it is a terrible truth that i love me more. it is terrible. but i must admit it to myself.

it is a terrible truth that love is not unconditional. but i must admit it to myself.

love is not unconditional.