i.
faced with a situation. an unexpected situation. unexpected… and evil… and cruel. faced with that situation: i feigned ignorance. i played the fool.
and as i did, this truth washed over me:
feigning ignorance allows moments of revelation… followed by a sense of gratification. and not just any gratification! The Uncontested Gratification. this is the gratification that follows our allowing others to lower their defenses before us.
here was the other, before me, thinking, she’s an idiot. she’ll never be on to me! he thought this to himself, and i saw him think it! i saw it in his eyes that flickered, ever so briefly, with the delicate brushstrokes of deceit. and he so quickly… so readily… shed his false airs while thinking i wasn’t paying attention.
and all the time, i was watching… so closely. and seeing… so precisely… just what he would do next. and divining… as if by incantation… just what he would say.
and he said it! and i smiled. but only with my eyes that flickered, ever so briefly, with the delicate brushstrokes of gratification. that his eyes could see just what i wanted them to see. and he saw!
and after he saw, we parted.
