a couple of weeks ago
my love said to me,
nevine, you look exhausted
nevine
nevine
without princess or preamble
and i said,
i do?
as if i didn’t know
as if i didn’t feel
and i looked at myself
in the mirror
i looked
without having to look too hard
and i told myself i had to stop
for heaven’s sake
(no… for mine)
stop
or else…
because
i caught myself running
and struggling
to catch my breath
i caught myself
heaving with exhaustion
at my own reflection
i caught myself giving
to others
giving care
and nurturing
and support
bearing their burdens
while they crumbled
beneath the weight
i caught myself
giving to others
but not
giving to me
and which crack
i wondered
had i slipped through
which crack
while pondering self-care?
where did my foot slide
beneath me?
when did my arms
not reach out to catch me
as i fell?
but i did slip
no matter how
or where
or when
i slipped
and found myself
falling
slowly…
into self-love
because who else
will love me
as i love me?
and i caught myself
at the last moment
i caught myself
by my very arms
and wrapped my arms
around me
and told me to
hold on right here, nevine
and while wrapping
i remembered
when i was a child
always running
through the woods
so i could hear the wind
sing in my hair
and while holding
i realized
i am no longer a child
and that running
through the woods
means never getting
to see the trees
